Multiple Personality Disorder
by 7yoduckydog666
Summary: Edward has multiple personality disorder and Bella finally meets all of his "friends". alicexdancer666 writes the odd chapters and Duck Life writes the even chapters. Please R&R!
1. eddy c is a g

Eddy C is a G

Chapter one

Edward had just walked in the room. I looked up at him. He looked different. He had big gold chains hanging from his neck and a knit cap on his head.

"YO what is up my shorty how is it be hanging?" I looked up at him and wondered what had gotten into him. "Um Edward what is up with all of this?" I motioned to his wardrobe. "Did you go shopping at Chains r Thugs or something?"

I immediately took a step back. "Fo Shizzle My Nizzle Emizzet and I just got done watching some MTV and some BET. Alizzile designed the clizosthes for me and Rizosalie game me some ice dawg." After that mispronounced and grammatically incorrect sentence I ran out of the room.


	2. Edward Goes Fruity Pebbles

I stared out of the window, wondering if my "No Gangsters" sign I had taped to the sill would repel Edward. Suddenly, he came bounding into the room. I smiled. "Are you done acting all weird?" I asked. He giggled girlishly.

"OMG, Bell-bell, what are you, like, talking about?" he trilled. I groaned. What was going on with Edward? Now that my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I could see that he was wearing pink polyester pants and a frilly V-neck shirt.

"Edward, why are you acting so girly?"

"Girly?" he giggled, and I saw that he was chewing _bubblegum_. "What, like, do you, like, mean?"

"Edward-" I began, but he stopped me.

"That's, like, totally, like, not my name," he replied. I glared at him.

"What ridiculous name do you want to go by?" I hissed through my teeth. He smiled. Lip gloss? Really?

"My name is Eddie-Bear," he said sweetly. I slapped my forehead.

"I am not calling you that."

"Please, Bell-bell?"

"My name isn't 'Bell-bell'!" I said. "Why don't you go home and get… _sober _by morning?" I asked irritably. He giggled.

"Silly Bell-bell, vampires, like can't get, like, drunk!"

"Are you smoking something?" I inquired.

"No, like, OMG!" he giggled. I moaned.

"I don't want to talk to you until you're _normal_," I told him, thinking to myself that Edward had never been _normal_.

"Okey-dokey!" he sang cheerily, hopping out of the window. I heard his voice from below me. "OMG, I, like, totally broke a nail!" I grumbled and rolled over, trying to forget my girly vampire boyfriend.


	3. Edward cries tears of black

Chapter 3

Edward cries tears of black

I really hoped my signs if no gangsters and no girly guys repelled Edward this time.

Just then he walked into the room sporting a different outfit, chains, black, a new hair style and color, and an angsty attitude. He was Goth. Great I thought another new Edward. "Edward wha-"

"That is not my name goddess of light. My name is gothward"

"Okay gothward what's wrong" he was curled up in a fetal position in the corner.

"Everything I hate life" I thought about it and pulled out my cell phone

"Carlisle you need to come home Edward I mean gothward needs help"

A strange sound came from the other line the Carlisle said in a worried tone

"I'll be home soon honey go sit with Alice and Rosalie because they are likely the source of the problem hand him an I-pod and a journal and he'll be fine until I get home."

I followed Carlisle's instructions ad ran out of the room. I didn't dare to ask where he got the clothes.


	4. Ednerd

I leaned precariously out of the window, carefully taping an addition to the other two rain-faded signs. This one was meant to keep "Gothward" away. I sighed and stepped back into my room glaring out the window.

The doorbell rang. I raced downstairs and flung open the door. Edward was standing there. I groaned. Gone were the chains and depressing mood. He was wearing thick, square glasses, smothered in duct tape. He'd combed his hair back, and was wearing his waistband much too high.

"Hi," he drawled, snorting. I shrieked in frustration and slammed the door- a first when it came to Edward. His muffled, phlegm voice came through the door. "Please let me in, Bella." I shuddered. "I'll do your homework." I froze as he snorted again. Edward never did any of my homework for me. He thought it was essential to my "education".

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he snorted. I grinned and swung open the door.

"I've got a lot of calculus homework, but I wanted to go and see Jacob this afternoon," I told him. Could I be allowed both? He smiled, and I smiled too- for once, mine looked better than his. I mean, come on, why bother with the useless braces?

"I'll do all of your homework," he assured me. "If-" I frowned. "If you go to prom with me." Grumbling, I slammed the door again and ran upstairs to call Carlisle.


End file.
